Ah well, a request for parenting advice. You know my kids, Amber, and you still ask me? hehe Mine were never been particularly good at the getting along thing. :) Well, they do enjoy each other more I think as adults than they did sometimes as kids.
After being a mother for 32 years, I've decided I'm no expert. Watching my five children grow up and have kids of their own is both a blessing and a humbling experience.
Maybe I realize now just how much I didn't know about parenting when mine were small. Sometimes I think I would do a much better job now (but I do not have the patience now that I did then) but I probably wouldn't. It was crazy around our house and I wouldn't have missed it for the world.
I remember my kids hiding snacks so the others wouldn't find them and there would be some when they wanted them (Jason). That's not to say we didn't buy enough.... just how much is enough when there are five, three of them boys with never ending stomachs.
And .... the who's at fault thing, can't help ya there. It was always a challenge with five. I think mine learned early on that if none of them admitted fault, they would all make out OK because I didn't have the heart to punish them all (although I'm not sure that Mike never did.) Could be very frustrating. No answers there.
Actually, my kids had me pegged pretty well. They knew I was a sucker for a hug (and I think my grandkids have picked up on that already.) If you have a soft heart, it's best they don't see the real you. You can never get that fear back once you've lost it and it can be very useful I've heard.
No, remembering back over the years, I wouldn't think of trying to tell someone else how to parent. However, maybe I could provide some perspective.
It all goes by so quickly. What seems important today is forgotten tomorrow. They are little for such a short time and then they are gone. Enjoy every moment. Take notes so you won't forget the things they say that make you laugh ...or blow you away.
Take time to notice how often our relationship with our kids mirrors our relationship with our heavenly Father. They want their own way, even though we know what's best for them.... They get frustrated or hurt over something that we know is small in the scheme of things...... We are just amazed at how much we love them and know there is no one who could love them more than we do. Remember that as much as we love them, that's the way God feels about us. Mind blowing, isn't it? What a lesson He teaches us through our children if we are open to see it.
And one more thing: Even when they are adults with kids of their own, you will look at them and see the little girl or little boy they once were. You will still see it in their face, you will still see it in their walk. You will get that cloudy look in your eyes and they will know what you are doing, but it won't matter. You will get a tear in your eye and they will shake their head(s) at you. They will think you are silly at the time but they will understand one day. When they are blessed with kids of their own.